Monday, November 7, 2011

The Winter Park Concours d'Elegance Car Show


It  was a pleasant day for the 10th Annual Winter Park Concours d'Elegance until the rain threatened to put a damper on things, quite literally. Fortunately, it was short lived and the sun peeked out again to reveal another pleasant November day in Central Florida. In an impressive display of antique and modern cars, super cars and headturners on six blocks of the cobbled main drag Park Avenue, in downtown Winter Park.

For those of you interested in automobiles and the lifestyles associated with them, here is some eye candy for you. Have a great week!

Thursday, October 27, 2011

5 Ways to Glam Up Your Party On a Budget



It is very easy to glam up your soiree on a budget. Here are a few tips on throwing a fancy party on a budget:

Light it up. For evening affairs, it is amazing what the right lighting can do. Candles provide a great glow that makes everything look more elegant and more beautiful – including people! (Your guests will thank you for that). Arrange them in clusters or individually, take advantage of mirrors that may amplify the effect, and create extra drama by arranging them at different heights. Alternatively (or together with the candles), if you have dimmers on your lights, turn them down till you get just the right level.

Find your green thumb. Well, you don’t really need a green thumb for this, but adding flowers can add some elegance to any event. There is no need to go overboard on this - you can arrange a bunch of long stem roses in a prominent place where the light picks it up, or in front of a mirror. You can also have single stems in bud vases spread out on tables in the room. For dinner, a great idea is to cut the stems short and arrange them very tightly in short vase – square or rectangular work well, but a round one works just as well. The idea is to have them arranged tightly.

Keep it Simple. With your candles, flowers, crisp linen, and stylish stemware, you can create an elegant look very inexpensively. Your guests will notice the ambience, not the price tag. When shopping for décor elements, choose one theme and run with it. Discount stores, thrift stores and party supply stores are a good resource for finding inexpensive decorations, but you will be surprised at how much you already have in your garage or other storage. Look for what useable things you have first, and remember that you can be innovative in your ‘adaptive reuse’ of what you have. Beware of mixing kitschy and cheesy with elegant! Go for fewer items that will make the most impact.

Presentation, presentation. This is one of my favorite tips. No one has to know the food and drink is cheap – glam it up and make it pop! I serve water out of my filter, but in an elegant pitcher with some ice and slices of lemon, or cucumber, or sprigs of rosemary…you get the drift. People eat with their eyes first, so use beautiful platters and garnish the food to make it interesting. When it comes to platter and plates, I am partial to stark white plates with unique architectural details. Decanters always look great on any table and add something extra to inexpensive wine – except for the taste…

Use a time machine. Talking about wine – a not-exactly-inexpensive way to improve the taste of wine is The Perfect Sommelier ($40, theperfectsommelier.com), which transforms a wine’s molecules to help it age and mature in about 30 minutes. This will help save you some money down the line. A great investment, if you ask me.

Friday, October 21, 2011

Trusting the Goodness - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years


Trusting and letting go and being assured that you will be ok in the end is a tough thing to do - especially when it comes to major decisions in your life. For people who like to have things planned, organized and controlled, this is a particularly big one.

My life has been in a state of flux the last few months regarding the next stage of my life. Lots of decisions to be made, and not enough information to make the decisions; so many things to do and not enough hours in the day to do them, while the clock ticks inexorably to the deadline in a few days...

For a while, I was stressed out about not having enough information to make decisions I needed to. This stress began to manifest itself psychosomatically, which is not a cool thing. But I went to bed one day resolved to feel better the next morning. I had to do one of my "attitude adjustments". In the process, it came to me that I had been in this position many times in my life and things always worked out somehow.  Besides, what else could I do? There was no point worrying over elements I could not control. I had to center myself, reaching deep inside to the lesson I have learnt many times: things will be ok.

I once heard somewhere that if you can't solve it, it isn't a problem - it's reality. It brings to mind the Serenity Prayer and a quote my friend posted on Facebook: "Sometimes we need to stop planning the future, stop trying to figure out precisly how we feel, stop deciding with our mind what we want our heart to feel. Sometimes we just have to live in the flow". Living in the flow of life is a wonderful way to live, but takes conscious effort on our part to keep us on track, as I had to learn once again. Not living in the flow of life is like trying to swim against the current, cutting against the grain. But living in the flow of life requires a great deal of trust; a complete faith in the process; an unquestioned belief that things will work out just the way they are meant to be - and however that works out...IS OK. And like I have said in several previous posts, no situation is intrinsically good or bad - it is the interpretation we put on them that make them good or bad for us.


We are conditioned to believe that we need to make things happen in our life and we want instant results. And as a person who believes in being the author of my life, I am constantly creating the story that is my life. But I also do know that sometimes I need to surrender. The secret and the reality, however, is that by surrendering, we do not abdicate authorship of our life; we do not relinquish control. Surrender requires a LOT more strength than trying to control things that we have no control over. Surrender is not a giving up, but a giving in - giving in to the goodness that is ours for the taking. Surrender is a conscious decision to make room for goodness in our life and all we are really doing is stepping out of our own way.


“I wanted a perfect ending. Now I've learned, the hard way, that some poems don't rhyme, and some stories don't have a clear beginning, middle, and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what's going to happen next.  Delicious Ambiguity.” ― Gilda Radner

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Steve Jobs - Connecting The Dots

When I read a little while ago that Steve Jobs had died, I couldn't help feeling a certain deep sadness. I read this on Facebook, of course, on my MacBook Pro, before my CNN update showed up on my iPhone. Just so you know, I've been holding out on the iPad and turn green with envy when I see people with iPads. But I digress.... I was crushed, and astonished at my reaction. I immediately had to double check my news feeds to make sure it wasn't one of those false rumors that spread like wildfire on social networks. Alas, it was true. My sadness deepened. Bewildered by my reaction, I promptly called my BFF to share the news.

I'll probably never know what precipitated my bizarre emotional response as I did not know the man from Adam and had no connection with him. Oh, but I did. I had come back from the gym where I was listening to music on my iPhone, loaded with almost 6000 songs through iTunes, was working on my MacBook Pro, and called on my iPhone....

Steve Jobs was a visionary who was able to take the world on journey of his own before the world knew they wanted to go on that journey. He led the creation of products before there was a market for them and created the market for others to come rushing in. He had an uncanny knack for knowing what the consumer wanted before the consumer even knew they could want that. He literally made the world 'think different'. 10 Ways Steve Jobs Changed The World

The Apple II set the stage for a revolution in personal computers. The iPod and iTunes turned a long-established business model on its head and changed the entertainment industry in ways that the industry is still trying to come to terms with. That is arguably one of Jobs' most far-reaching revolutions. The iPhone transformed the cellular phone industry, creating a new use for cellular phones and bringing major corporations to their knees. Steve Jobs' more recent midas touch resuscitated a dead tablet market with the iPad and left the consumer-electronics giants in an ongoing arms race for tablets. Although many people were disappointed with the launch of the iPhone 4S, it was probably smart to keep the iPhone 5 for mainstream 4G technology (sometimes, Apple has to wait for the world to catch up). It is speculated that Jobs had a 10-15 year rollout plan for future Apple products.

But Steve Jobs was also a showman with a certain personal charisma, and a trademark style of presenting. The iPhone 4S might probably have been better received if he introduced it and the stocks might not have plummeted the way they did. But that is mere conjecture on my part. His Stanford commencement address in 2005 "How To Live Before You Die" is even more poignant now, especially with his candid thoughts on death and living life. "You can't connect the dots looking forward. You can only connect them looking backwards. You have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something...". My father had a very interesting way of putting it: "Everyone has to believe in something...I believe I'll have another beer!" That was on his favorite t-shirt...

So, I understand how Steve Jobs changed my life and the world. Whether you use an Apple product or not, everyone's life has been affect in some way by Steve Jobs' vision and revolution. People like him come along quite rarely. But while his loss is mourned, we all are better for his life and, as a result, think different.

Monday, October 3, 2011

Life is Hard...And Then You Die - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

Life is hard. And then you die. The title of this post may sound rather pessimistic, but it's not. Perhaps it got your attention.  (And for the technical nit pickers: forgive my use of 'hard' instead of 'difficult' in this post - it just sounds better here!)

It's often said that the two things that are certain in life are death and taxes - let me add a third: tough times. Everyone goes through some tough times regardless of one's station in life, financial stability, or optimism. I know I've had my share of them. It is very easy in life to get frustrated because sometimes things don't work out as we expect.

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Stock Your Bar: Everything You Need To Know About Liquor

I'm not sure if it's because I took some mixology classes, but there's something about having a nicely-stocked bar at home that appeals to me. But with so many kinds of alcohol available and so many brands to choose from, stocking a bar can be a daunting task for many. Here are some tips to help you stock your bar at home with an adequate variety of liquor for when you have guests.

The first thing to know is that you don't need to have every kind of liquor to have a decently stocked bar. Probably the four most popular liquors are vodka, gin, light rum and tequila. Others you can get will include brandy and whiskey. Most common drinks can be made with these.

Monday, August 22, 2011

Caprese Salad Skewers

Photo credit: sinfultommaso.com
I love the Insalata Caprese, and for a recent party I had, I made a variation of that - Caprese Salad Skewers. The Insalata Caprese is a simple salad made with tomatoes, mozzarella cheese and basil, usually drizzled with balsamic vinegar and extra virgin olive oil. I first had it while on vacation in the French Riviera and for one who was not a big fan of tomatoes, I was hooked! It's great for summer because the ingredients are in season and also because it is light, simple and tasty.

Wednesday, August 10, 2011

The Cheap Party - 25 Ways To Throw a Party Inexpensively: Part I

Throwing a party, whatever the occasion, can be pretty expensive if you let it, and many times, the little things add up pretty fast! Thankfully, there are ways to throw an elegant shindig without breaking the bank. Here are 25 of my favorite tricks of the trade:

Friday, August 5, 2011

Money Can Buy You Happiness - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

I'm quite sure you've heard tell of how money cannot buy you happiness, or health, or class, or love, or a host of other things... And in many ways that is true. Having money, in itself is not a guarantee to happiness. Happiness is not a reward for hard work or earning money; it is a consequence of a series of choices we make each and every day.

Wednesday, August 3, 2011

How Well Do You Know Los Angeles, CA?


Los Angeles is famous for the movie industry, celebrities, and Hollywood. But how well do you know the City of Angels?

Here's your chance to win three City Walk iPhone applications to cities of your choice, courtesy of GPSmyCity.com. Correctly answer all ten questions about Los Angeles below and e-mail them to quiz@gpsmycity.com for your chance to win!
 ;

1. L.A was founded as a city in:
A. 1718
B. 1781
C. 1817

2. What L.A landmark appears in such movies as the Terminator and Transformers?
A. Griffith Observatory
B. Grauman's Chinese Theater
C. Hollywood Wax Museum

3. L.A was briefly part of what country?
A. Spain
B. Mexico
C. Brazil

4. What did the original Hollywood sign say?
A. Hollywood Hills
B. Hollywoodland
C. Welcome to Hollywood

5. The L.A city flower is the:
A. Douglas Iris
B. Bird of Paradise
C. Wood Rose

6. Whom does this famous quite belong to: "I love Los Angeles. I love Hollywood. They're beautiful. Everybody's plastic, but I love plastic. I want to be plastic."?
A. Marilyn Monroe
B. Andy Warhol
C. Elizabeth Taylor

7. Which one of these famous people was not born in L.A?
A. Angelina Jolie
B. Gwyneth Paltrow
C. Cameron Diaz

8. Californians are the largest US consumers of:
A. Chocolate
B. Tomatoes
C. Turkey

9. Marina del Rey  is the largest yacht harbor in:
A. California
B. America
C. The world

10. California's popular nickname, made official in 1968 is:
A. The Sunshine State
B. The Golden State
C. The Silver State

Remember to send your answers to quiz@gpsmycity.com. Good luck!

S82R9SHB667C

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Be Indispensable - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

In my first job - an unofficial and unpaid internship - I learned very early on, the importance of being indispensable. I didn't set out with that intention - it was actually a by-product of something else. I started out with the task of organizing an abandoned file room - a task I finished in 3 days, much to the dismay of my supervisor. I kept asking for my things to do. What I wanted was more responsibility to feed my need to be important. I figured I was smart, and I could do more, so I asked for more to keep me busy. Within three months, I had a title, and in six months, I was convening meetings (and still not getting paid).

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Break the rules - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

As a young boy, I was rather obsessed with following the rules and doing everything right. For me it was avoiding the embarrassment of disapproval or punishment. My mother, bless her heart, was quite the disciplinarian. I needed to have the approval of my parents at all times and if they so much as looked at me the wrong way, my soul was crushed. So when I was punished for anything I'd done at home or at school, I would be so mad at myself for being wrong. I considered punishment to be beneath me and that was why I had to follow the rules.

I still think punishment is abhorrent and a parking ticket will ruin my day and the next three as well. But this piece is not about public laws and organizational rules. It's about the unwritten rules in life we feel compelled to obey because that is what society expects of us. We have rules that govern what we wear, how our relationships should work, what roles we play, how we should feel and a myriad other aspects of our life. We effectively become drones, accepting our lot in life and the status quo because that's the thing to do.

In many ways, my adult life has been one of being unconventional. It does feel like looking in from the outside sometimes, but I won't have it any other way. In the words of Robert Heinlein: "I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do. I am free, no matter what rules surround me. If I find them tolerable, I tolerate them; if I find them too obnoxious, I break them. I am free because I know that I alone am morally responsible for everything I do". 


I prefer to chart my own course in life and find myself constantly questioning conventions; essentially dancing to the beat of a different drum. It would be amazing to find out how much of our lives are dictated by convention. Breaking those rules, in my experience, has been liberating in the long run. Take a moment to think about the things you do each day and ask yourself why you do those things. Why do they have to be that way? Is that the only way it can be done? Just thinking about those questions in an objective and dispassionate manner can be quite revealing. If done right, you will feel uncomfortable with what you come up with and will realize that even what you think is right is only right because you've been conditioned to think that is what right looks like.


Get out of your comfort zone. Break some rules. Free your mind.


Monday, July 25, 2011

Sex - 40 Things I've Learnt In 40 Years

Sex. The very thought of it is enough to conjure up visions of hedonistic abandon and heights of incredible ecstasy...

...or not.

It is amazing how sex has changed for me over the years. Time was, when sex had but one objective: the surreptitious foray through the nether regions to reach the intoxicating heights of Mt. Olympus - the mount of the gods - if only for an all-too-brief moment. It was a speedy race to the top to reach the holy grail and an avalanche right back down that left you flushed, out of breath, and feeling less than satiated.

Like many young people, we were left wondering why there was so much secrecy, mystery and much ado about sex. Yes, it was great, but only very briefly, really. And what was so wrong about it that made it such an awful subject in polite company or at the dinner table? Somehow the clandestine nature of the subject of sex lent credence to its allure.

Sometimes I wonder how sex today would be if I'd had lots of early experience. In many ways I am still learning so much about it. You would think that at my age I would know everything about my body and about sex. The real beauty is, I am still learning, and each new revelation leaves me with a smile on my face. I find it sad that many times, sex is seen as something we do to another person, or something that is done to us. That is sad. It should be a act of mutual participation, where each partner's aim is to please and be pleased. Without that essential ingredient, it is nearly impossible for both parties to derive optimal benefit from being together.

What I do know is that there are different kinds of sex. Sex is like nature. You can have earthquakes, hurricanes, snow flurries, thunderstorms, drizzles, breezes and sometimes stillness. Sometimes several happen in succession. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it isn't. But most importantly, it is about the spiritual connection that can take place in the process. Sex is more than a genital experience. It is a spiritual experience that echoes the Biblical reference of two becoming one. It is one of those rare moments where bodies and spirits collide. A sexual encounter disconnected from a spiritual one is like flying coach when you could be flying First Class.

A spiritual sexual encounter requires both parties to be present and committed to the 'process'. It involves tuning in to the frequency of the other person as well as yourself, and interpreting the very subtle signals you give and receive. Consciously take in what you see, what you smell, what you taste, what you feel, how it feels... That is when it takes on a life of its own and the two of you take a journey that is not predetermined by either party. The only agenda is the present moment. That is when sex is no longer about the orgasm as much as it is about a certain shared intimacy. Each encounter is a new adventure, blending the tried-and-tested with new areas of exploration and an abandonment to the moment.

I have found that a spiritual sexual encounter leaves me satiated and basking in the afterglow for days after and doesn't leave me craving more (not for the moment, at least). It has taken me a while to learn the import of that, but I have also had to unlearn a lot of what I picked up growing up. Sex can be an incredibly beautiful experience, but you need to learn to 'unlimit' yourself and realize that really, there are no rules. You are the rule.

Now I'm curious: What have your sexcapades been like?

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

A Day Made of Glass...

This is an interesting concept for the (near) future...What are your thoughts?

Ownership - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

It's amusing to watch kids even in pre-school fight over toys crying, "It's mine, it's mine!" tugging at whatever toy both got their attention and their right of ownership. Due to some very interesting socialization process, we teach kids a sense of ownership. It's my toy; my bed; my mummy; my whatever it is. As adults, we extend that to people as well.

I am - as you might imagine - very much into the finer things in life. I've always been. I've always been about exclusivity and being unique. Even as a boy, my mother always knew to get me something that was different from whatever she got for my brothers. It had to be mine - I wouldn't be caught dead in anything that could be mistaken for someone else's!

But a strange thing happened to me as I grew up. Years ago, I woke up one day to find that my car had been broken into in the driveway of my house. The stereo was taken and some other bits and bobs that I can't remember. I felt violated and angry, and also, very vulnerable. Reflecting on the events of the day and my emotions in response, I realized that these things taken away from me were just stuff. Yes, I was upset and feeling vulnerable, but it was because someone else had taken my stuff. Although the gaping hole where my car stereo had been ripped out reminded me of the atrocious act (yes, I'm being dramatic!), I made my peace when I disconnected myself from my ownership of the physical object. I had to let go.


My friend Ken Goldstein puts it very well in his new book "The Way of The Nerd": "Ownership attaches an emotion and an expectation. Expectation leads to conflict in most every situation".


We consider our romantic partners as 'ours' and so a breakup is so much more painful not because of the fact that we loved (and probably still love) them, but because we feel they had no right to take away what we considered ours. And this is amplified if a third party was involved. We cannot claim ownership of the people in our life.

A thought that brings the concept of ownership sharply into focus is that we cannot lose something we do not own. But even more importantly, no one will steal something you do not own. It's like a reverse self-fulfilling prophecy: if you don't own it, no one will steal it. Isn't that freeing? For me, it makes me sleep easier at night without fearing that my stuff will be taken. The stuff is replaceable. For the stuff I paid for, I paid for the use of it while I'm here. I came into this world kicking and screaming and with absolutely nothing - not even the clothes on my back. And I will leave without any of it as well.

I like my fine stuff. But I own none of it.



Monday, July 18, 2011

God Isn't Who I Thought He Was - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

It just hit me the other day that God isn't who I thought He was. I'm not sure what went wrong along the way, but I was given a heavy dose of the wrong God. And no, it is not because someone decided to misinform me - because everyone that has crossed my spiritual path has had the best of intentions.

God Then...
I was raised Catholic, went to a Catholic grade school and became the Catholic Chapel Prefect in high school and nearly went to seminary. I joined the Scripture Union at school, started a youth group in my parish, organized Bible study, gospel concerts...I was on fire.

I have no less fervor now than I did then, but my focus is now more inward than outward. My slant is more spiritual than religious. The outward appearances of self-righteousness no longer impress me. I still love the pomp and pageantry, but I realize that the God I came to believe in, had been commercialized, dressed up, and paid mere lip service. Indeed, the God I came to believe in was no more than a human fabrication, created to control people, and very successfully too.

I began a search some years ago that made me see God in a whole new light and the vision is incredibly stunning. Unfortunately, religion has covered all of that simple beauty with a lot of ritual, dogma and rules. I used to believe in a God that was watching everything you did, waiting to punish you now or later for eternity, but with a veneer of love thrown in for good measure. The God I used to believe in, was to be feared. I had to believe in him, or else...

I found that men had tried to put God in a nice little box that made it easier for them to comprehend Him. What happened was that we put limitations on God. We ascribed human emotions and thought processes to Her, and related to Him on that level. We assigned a gender that made God male because that was what a patriarchal society could accept, and our language could only support a male or female gender. The God I knew before was nothing but a human construct, made in the image of man.

God Now...
Now, more than ever, I realize God is love. Now, more than ever, I feel God within me, and I feel a part of God. Now I understand that with God's gift of free will, I am a co-creator with Her each waking moment. I am a part of God, an extension of God...I am God. To fully experience God, I have to be open-minded and refrain from projecting my human limitations unto The One Spirit, and yes, let God be God.

God sees me no differently than He sees you and neither should I. God wants us to love Him of our own free will and not because of some threat of fire and brimstone. God, by whatever name we refer to Her is not Christian. Neither is He Buddhist or Muslim or Hindu. God just is. Religion pits us one against the other, creating an environment of "us versus them", each trying to claim exclusive right to God. There is more than enough God to go around! A statement made by a pastor in the movie Children of God put this in stark perspective for me: "We have to give people something to hate. It brings them together..." Now let that sink in for a moment.... It isn't so openly acknowledged, but isn't that what religion tends to do? Fortunately it is people who create the problem, not religion.

There are no exclusions in God's love. No ifs, buts or whys. God's love has no strings attached; no conditions. My faith is no longer determined by scriptural texts conveniently selected by humans to suit their purposes. God's love for me is not predicated upon anything I do or don't do. I no longer beat myself up for not being able to measure up to man-made rules made in God's name - She loves me just the way I am. My job and duty is to spread His love in everything I do.

I have learned that God really doesn't care if you call Her Allah, the Universe, Mother Nature, God, Adi Purush, Waheguru, Elohim, use a male or female pronoun, or paint Him white, black or brown. What God does care about is that you love your neighbor as yourself. You cannot claim to love God if you are selective about which neighbor you will love, or under what conditions you will love them. Subsequently, you cannot love your neighbor if you don't love yourself. It's a simple as that!

I still attend Mass, but I worship with a new sense of freedom and an entirely new perspective. 

Prayer of St. Francis
Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love.
Where there is injury, pardon.
Where there is doubt, faith.
Where there is despair, hope.
Where there is darkness, light.
Where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled, as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive.
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.

Friday, July 15, 2011

8 Secrets to Walking and Moving Confidently

Confidence is a mental state of mind that sets you apart and makes others believe in you. Confidence is the veneer that makes you appear unstoppable even though you might be feeling scared out of your wits. Your perception of yourself has an enormous impact on how others perceive you. In a way, perception becomes the reality — the more self confidence you have, the more likely it is you’ll succeed. No one can ever have more than their fair share of confidence - ego, maybe arrogance: yes; confidence, no.
Look Smart
Although clothes don’t necessarily make the man, they certainly affect the way you feel about yourself. No one is more conscious of your physical appearance than you are. When you don’t look your best, it negatively affects the way you carry yourself and interact with other people. Use this to your advantage by taking care of your personal appearance.
This doesn’t mean you need to spend a lot on clothes. One great rule to follow is “spend twice as much, buy half as much”. Rather than buying a bunch of cheap clothes, buy half as many, but high quality items. In the long run you spend less, because expensive clothes wear out less easily and stay in style longer than cheap clothes. Buying less also helps reduce the clutter in your closet.
Don't Slouch
Imagine your body is a tall, narrow building. Place your feet about 10 inches apart. Now, make sure your knees are directly about your feet, hips above your knees, stomach above your hips, chest above your stomach and head above your chest - such that if you took a piece of heavy string and dropped it from your nose, it would fall between your feet. Keep this image in mind as you stand around at networking events, meetings and receptions.
Walk Tall
Walk erect with your head held high, your shoulders back, your chest out and your stomach in. Imagine that someone is pulling your head up with a long piece of string push your shoulders back and smile. With the aura you create, you command respect without ever saying a word. If you walk with too much of  a swagger or a strut, you could be seen as egotistic or having a pompous attitude. On the other hand, when your back is arched and your head is down,  it shows a lack of confidence. Nothing screams: "lack of confidence" like slouching. Walk with shoulders high, waist not bent, and legs locked. 


Pep In Your Step
One of the easiest ways to tell how a person feels about themselves is to examine their walk. Is it slow? tired? painful? aimless? Or is it energetic and purposeful? People with confidence walk quickly. They have places to go, people to see, and important work to do! Even if you aren’t in a hurry, you can increase your self confidence by putting some pep in your step. Walking 25% faster will make to you look and feel more important. People who walk faster are perceived to be important people. Walking a bit faster would make an impression that you are busy and about some important activity. You don't have to be panting to be walking fast enough - you just need to show a sense of purpose. It is all about making a self-image for others to see.
Look up!
Don't stare at the road or at the floor when you're walking - hold your head up and maintain it at eye level. This will create opportunities to make eye contact with other people. And do make eye contact - it's a non-verbal way to say "hello".
Share The Love
When we think negatively about ourselves, we often project that feeling on to others. Try not to do that. Instead of spreading negativity, get in the habit of praising other people and making an effort to compliment those around you. In the process, you’ll become well-liked and build your self confidence. By looking for the best in others, you, in effect, bring out the best in yourself.


And Smile!
Frowning, having a closed expression on your face or looking timid will only draw more "non confidence" towards you. Smile at people - it doesn't have to be a flash of teeth, but a pleasant expression makes you approachable, attractive and powerful.
Public Speaking
When you are giving a presentation, use your walk as a form of physical punctuation. Strengthen transitions by stepping to the side, pauses by standing in place and emphasis and persuasion by moving forward as if you want to touch the audience. If your movement is seen to be affected or mechanical, it will detract from your presentation. Standing in one place throughout a talk, on the other hand, may indicate you're "frozen to the spot" by the fear of speaking.
Taking up a reasonable amount of space equates to having power. Put your feet a few inches apart with one slightly in front of the other. This also makes it possible for you to easily change weight from one foot to the other. This is particularly important if you are behind a podium; you don't noticeably appear to be shifting weight (which you need to do so you don't get frozen in the "speaker" position). When you don't do it smoothly, this shifting can be distracting to the audience ... and to you when you become conscious of it.

Thursday, July 14, 2011

Work Smart, Not Hard - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 Years

The older I've grown, the less I want to work. The hard kind, at least. Don't get me wrong: I love the work I do and I'm a very hands-on person, but I've paid some dues and am throttling back. Years ago, it was cool to work hard, doing the things I loved to do for just a pittance; right now - not so much.

Many of you might be familiar with Pareto's 80/20 principle - get 80% of your work done with 20% of your resources. I want to use as little energy as possible to get the most results. It's efficiency, plain and simple. For me, it is a transition from being effective to being efficient; or better still: effective and efficient.

Effectiveness is the easy part. As a young business owner barely out of my teens, it was important to me to be in the trenches with my crew. That was my leadership style, and besides, everyone was older than I was and I felt uncomfortable barking orders to them. It didn't help that I was a perfectionist. It was easier to do it myself and get it right, sometimes. But with a growing scope of responsibilities, I cannot be everywhere at the same time. That is where mentoring, delegation, and succession planning come in.

To work smarter, you should focus on the big stuff; things that will make the most bang - the rest will follow. In the same vein, you have to manage your time differently - spending more time on the things that will produce the biggest result, not necessarily the most aesthetically pleasing. Not every battle needs to be fought to win the war: pick your battles.

I'm not 100% motivated 100% of the time, and I'm pretty sure the same goes for you as well. Motivation comes and goes like waves - when you have a nice big wave, ride it all the way. After it's crested, you don't need to spin your wheels because you'll be spending a lot more of your energy for little return. Besides, another wave will certainly come again; the downside, however, is that you may not know when the next one will be, or how long it will last. But if you're resourceful enough, I'm sure you can make your own waves...

In my experience, there's almost always a better way to do any given task, and I'm always looking for that. I don't want to spend energy I don't need to be spending. Don't restrict yourself to a method just because that's the way it's always been. In several jobs I've had my supervisors would get frustrated with all the 'why' questions I had. But I needed to know why I was doing any given task in the context of the whole. That perspective also give me ideas to streamline processes.

There are two kinds of people: those who work hard and those who work smart. Those who work hard measure their success in the number of hours they work and hope it reflects in their paycheck. Those who work smart measure their success in how much discretionary time they have available. That's the kind of guy I want to be! I'm sure many of you were either told or made to believe that you had to 'pay your dues' in hard work, and the only reason for that was 'because you have to'. No you don't!

I have no interest in working hard only to find that I don't have the time to enjoy the fruits of my labor. I want to have a work-life balance that keeps me excited, energized and enthusiastic. I want to work in my retirement because I love what I do and it keeps me young.

Take a moment to think today what message you're sending to kids by your words and actions about life and work. Are you teaching them to work hard or work smart?

I dunno 'bout you, but as for me, the only thing I'm going to work hard at...is working smart.