5 Ways to Glam Up Your Party On a Budget

It is very easy to glam up your soiree on a budget. Here are a few tips on throwing a fancy party on a budget:

Light it up. For evening affairs, it is amazing what the right lighting can do. Candles provide a great glow that makes everything look more elegant and more beautiful – including people! (Your guests will thank you for that). Arrange them in clusters or individually, take advantage of mirrors that may amplify the effect, and create extra drama by arranging them at different heights. Alternatively (or together with the candles), if you have dimmers on your lights, turn them down till you get just the right level.

Find your green thumb. Well, you don’t really need a green thumb for this, but adding flowers can add some elegance to any event. There is no need to go overboard on this - you can arrange a bunch of long stem roses in a prominent place where the light picks it up, or in front of a mirror. You can also have single stems in bud vases spread out on tables in the room. For dinner, a great idea is to cut the stems short and arrange them very tightly in short vase – square or rectangular work well, but a round one works just as well. The idea is to have them arranged tightly.

Keep it Simple. With your candles, flowers, crisp linen, and stylish stemware, you can create an elegant look very inexpensively. Your guests will notice the ambience, not the price tag. When shopping for décor elements, choose one theme and run with it. Discount stores, thrift stores and party supply stores are a good resource for finding inexpensive decorations, but you will be surprised at how much you already have in your garage or other storage. Look for what useable things you have first, and remember that you can be innovative in your ‘adaptive reuse’ of what you have. Beware of mixing kitschy and cheesy with elegant! Go for fewer items that will make the most impact.

Presentation, presentation. This is one of my favorite tips. No one has to know the food and drink is cheap – glam it up and make it pop! I serve water out of my filter, but in an elegant pitcher with some ice and slices of lemon, or cucumber, or sprigs of rosemary…you get the drift. People eat with their eyes first, so use beautiful platters and garnish the food to make it interesting. When it comes to platter and plates, I am partial to stark white plates with unique architectural details. Decanters always look great on any table and add something extra to inexpensive wine – except for the taste…

Use a time machine. Talking about wine – a not-exactly-inexpensive way to improve the taste of wine is The Perfect Sommelier ($40, theperfectsommelier.com), which transforms a wine’s molecules to help it age and mature in about 30 minutes. This will help save you some money down the line. A great investment, if you ask me.

Clothes Make the Man (or Woman) - 40 Things I've Learnt in 40 years

In our somewhat warped way of thinking, we tend to get a feel of other people - especially people we don't know - based on their outward appearances. On the one hand, this might seem subjective, but our brains have to have a way of filtering the information we receive in order to protect us. So we put new people we meet into various categories and file them in the cavernous storage systems of our mind. As a result we have a host of idioms that point to that, such as: "Clothes make the man", and "You only have one chance to make a good first impression".

Fifteen years ago (when I was obviously younger), as a very hands-on event producer/director, I would be in the trenches with the crew and various vendors, dressed in old jeans, sneakers and t-shirt. I asked an employee of one of the vendors I had contracted if I could borrow his ladder for a moment and I got a rude retort from him. Some time later, I saw the manager of the vending company and recounted the story to her and she was terribly embarrassed and furious, "Does he know who you are?" she fumed. Apparently not, but that isn't the point. The point is that I did not fit into his category of what a director should look like. I was dressed like the rest of them, was too young, wasn't shouting orders, didn't elicit any fear from the crew and didn't approach him with a sense of entitlement. I thought it quite funny when I later got a rather sheepish apology from him because I understood what had happened.

But watching what you wear is not just about making an impression for other peoples' benefit. What you wear has an effect on how you feel about yourself and even how you move. The way I carry myself in a suit is quite different from the way I carry myself in shorts and flip-flops. On days I'm not feeling too hot, dressing extra dapper than usual with a splash of color usually does the trick. It really is a two-pronged effect: I feel better about myself and people respond more warmly to me, which makes me feel even better!

So Mum was right: press your shirts, polish your shoes, tuck your shirt in, brush you hair...and the world is a better and more beautiful place.

Dressing Up - Your Guide to Event Dress Codes

I don't know about you, but I like dressing up. There's something about getting all 'dolled up' that makes one feel glamorous and fabulous. For others, navigating the rules of style for anything more than a casual affair is enough to get all nervous.

Does this sound like you, or someone you know? If you can identify with that or need a little refresher, this is for you.

The first cue to the dress code will be the actual invitation. Apart from the line that says "Dress Code", the formality of the invitation will tell you how formal an event it is.

White tie

This is considered the most formal style of all. Very few people every have to attend such events, which usually include state functions and very prestigious ceremonial events. For men, this will require a jacket with tails and cut to the waist in the front, a white waistcoat, black patent shoes, and, of course, a white bow-tie.

For women, it has to be a full-length evening gown. Anything above the ankles, such as a cocktail dress is inappropriate. For the most formal of balls, the gown might be required to be white. You will find that many women will wear a fur wrap and long gloves as well.

Black tie or Formal

A black tie event is the less formal counterpoint to the white tie event. Tailcoats are not required for men, and a dinner jacket - or a tuxedo in the US - is worn instead. These come in different styles and are worn with a black bow-tie. Even though a white or cream-colored shirt is typically worn to set off the black tie, a man who wants to stand out may wear a light colored shirt of his choice. That would be me!

The rules seem to be changing for women in recent times. Anything formal calls for a floor-length dress. Today, however, a three-quarter length dress is considered acceptable for some events. Typical accessories would include evening sandals and evening bag, usually of silk, velvet, satin or similar fabric. In my opinion, you can never go wrong with a floor-length gown for this kind of event.

Black Tie Optional

For this kind of event, a dinner jacket or tuxedo is safe, but a dark suit with a tie will also be totally acceptable. This is usually the case with business event dinners. Women wear long gowns, but other evening dresses and separates are also acceptable. A new trend is dress codes described as "Creative Black Tie". This is a variation of the 'black tie optional' and gives even greater latitude for personal style. A dinner jacket or tuxedo with a black shirt and no tie, for example will be acceptable.

Cocktail

Event dress codes variably called "Cocktail", "Business Formal", or "Semi-Formal" call for dark suits for men, and cocktail dresses for women. These are usually events that begin around 6pm and usually go on for no longer than a couple of hours, but could include social events such as upscale parties and going to a nightclub. The cut of suits for men can be more fashion forward than businesslike. Cocktail dresses for women can emphasize figure.

So there you are! Not too complicated, I hope. If you have any specific questions, feel free to send me an email at ayite@thelifestylemaven.com or post your question right here on this blog.

If you have any funny faux-pas stories you'd like to share, I'd like to hear them too! Join the conversation on Twitter @thelfstylemaven or on Facebook www.facebook.com/TheLifestyleMaven.

5 Rules for Shoes and Socks

Today, I am answering Anonymous, who has some questions about shoes and socks:

 I'd be interested in knowing when a gentleman should wear certain types of shoes. For instance, may a gentleman wear patent/suede cap toe shoes when the event is not formal? May loafers (tassel or non tassel) be worn without socks? Also, what does The Lifestyle Maven think of whimsical socks? Must brown socks always accompany brown shoes? What shades of brown shoes are appropriate with blue slacks and what should the sock color be?

So, first of all, I tend to shy away from 'rules', simply because I think there shouldn't be any. Guidelines, yes; rules - not so much. Fashion 'rules' were born in a specific milieu and context and cannot always be exported to other climates and cultures wholesale. But people like like to think in terms of rules, hence the title! This is by no means a complete overview of the issue of socks and shoes, but just a response to a reader's questions.

Patent/Suede shoes and formality.

A general guideline with men's shoes is that shinier shoes indicate greater formality, so patent leather shoes are better suited for formal occasions. Cap toe shoes also work better with suits since they are more traditional and, some would say, conservative. But you can never go wrong with them. Suede is a more casual material than patent leather, and so this combination blends formal and casual - essentially throwing out all the rules! I say feel free to wear them for your more formal special events and other dressier events that aren't necessarily very formal. If it feels special and you want to dress it up, wear them! Just don't wear them willy-nilly.....


Loafers with or without socks?

Generally speaking, loafers are your more casual slip-on kind of shoes. They come in all kinds of styles. When wearing shorts, loafers should rather be worn without socks. You'll look like a clown if you wear loafers with socks and shorts! It is very acceptable to wear loafers without socks when wearing them with khakis, or even jeans. If you opt to wear socks, choose muted tones. With or without socks, make sure your trousers (pants) are the right length - trousers that are too short don't make you look particularly fetching...


Whimsical socks?

Personally, I'm not a great fan of whimsical socks. Nothing wrong with them - just not my thing. Having said that, the rule is there are no rules; but I always get leery with the word 'whimsical' since it is open to a myriad interpretations.... As long as you don't wear something outlandish and you stick with the diamond/argyle and other 'mainstream' designs and they match what you're wearing, I daresay you should be fine. Think of your socks like you would a tie: an accessory to bring your entire outfit together. Just don't wear a Bugs Bunny pair of socks or one with dollar bills on it....Please.


Brown shoes, brown socks?
The rule of thumb has been to match the color of your socks to the color of your shoes. I personally think it's better to match them to the color of your pants for unity of flow. The color of your shoes should generally be darker than the color of your pants/trousers but the color of your socks should never be darker than your shoes. The color of your socks needn't be identical to that of your shoes - a rough closeness works just fine for formal attire. For casual shoes, please wear white socks. Dark socks and casuals don't go together. Oh - and with sandals, no socks at all; not white, not light or dark - that's just plain wrong!


Brown shoes, blue slacks?

Once upon a time, blue slacks with brown shoes was frowned upon, but not so today. I think the Italians have made blue suits and brown shoes fashionable. Your brown shoes will work with  lighter grays, browns, khakis and dark blue. They also work well with jeans. It's difficult to correctly match brown with black, anyway, so you can stay away from that. I happen to think that you could pull off blue with with brown shoes. Just remember to keep your shoes darker that your trousers. If in doubt, stick with black.

You'll find more information on socks here. I hope this helps. Have fun dressing up!

Knots and Crosses

For men, the tie is often a safe item where we can add a touch of color to what could otherwise be a boring and predictable outfit. But for some men, the thought of knotting a tie can be rather intimidating. Hopefully, we can demystify The Secret of the Tie.

There are many ways to knot a tie. Actually, Thomas Fink and Yong Mao listed 85 in their book The 85 Ways to Tie a Tie (1999). Some of the more popular are the Full Windsor, the Half Windsor and the Four in Hand. Let's go through them one at a time.

The Full Windsor:
Named after Edward VII, the Duke of Windsor, it is a more formal style of knotting a tie and produces a symmetrical triangular knot. It is particularly suited to spread or cutaway collars. Here's how to tie it:

The Half Windsor:
Similar to the Full Windsor knot, it produces a smaller knot and not quite as symmetrical because it is brought up around the loop on only one side:

The Four-In-Hand
Also called the 'schoolboy knot',  it is probably one of the most popular methods of knotting a tie because it it so simple. It produces a narrow, asymmetrical knot appropriate for general use:

Now some extra notes on wearing ties:

• Keep the dimple of the tie centered so the knot doesn't look uneven.
• Make sure the knot is tight enough. Too tight and you'll look like a sausage and too loose you could look unkempt.
• The tip of the tie should end in the middle of your belt buckle
• Don't wear a stained tie!

Happy knotting!

Nailing it: The 5-step DIY nailcare guide for men

I love the way my nails look after I give them a little TLC and I don't even go to a salon for that. Here's a quick and easy way to get that clean, manicured look without having to sit in a manicurist's station.

You'll need:

• A nail clipper
• A nail file
• A nail buffer (a rectangular foam block that looks like a cross between a sanding block and a kitchen sponge)
• A nail brush
• A cuticle pusher
• Cuticle oil

All of these are easily found at your local drugstore. Hopefully you might have some of them. You'll also need a bowl of warm soapy water and lotion, which I know you'll have.

1. Soak your nails in the soapy water for a few minutes to soften them up and scrub under your nails with the nail brush. You can also use the nail file that comes with the clipper to clean any residual dirt from under the nails.
2. Clip your nails along the natural curvature of your fingers and follow that by evening out the cut,  'sanding' with the nail file. When clipping your nails, it is important not to crack them. (That's why soaking helps).
3. Buff your nails using the buffer in the same fashion as you would buff a pair of dress shoes. If your buffer has sides with different textures, start with the most coarse and finish with the smoothest. Multiple-textured buffers give the most polish and can really make your nails look professionally manicured.
4. Dab a drop of cuticle oil on each nail, wait for a couple of minutes and then use the cuticle pusher to push back the cuticle on each finger.
5. Moisturize. Using good helping of the lotion, rub in the lotion into your hands from your wrists to your extremities.This is important because it helps keep the skin surrounding the nail grooves from drying and cracking and also keeps your hands soft.

Now go show off those hands!

House of Cards: The Protocol of Business Cards

Recently, at a conference, I noticed how a colleague kept thrusting his business card in the face of anyone who spoke one word to him. I’d cringe each time I introduced him to someone I was speaking with and he’d flash his card out.

It is important to remember when networking, that the attitude should not be “what’s in it for me”, but instead, “what’s in it for them”. There is a set of protocols for giving out business cards, and the cardinal rule is that you don’t give out your card without being asked for one. I’d like to modify that one somewhat: True, you must wait to be asked for your card, but you can create the situation for someone to ask for your card. Otherwise, just ask how you can contact them, if they haven’t offered you their card. Or, at the very least, create a reason for someone to want to have your card. 

For example, I was speaking with a gentleman who manufactured specialty cosmetics and I offered to put some information on my website about his products. So I offered to give him my card so he could contact me if he ever wanted to take me up on my offer. Notice I created the situation first, I offered to give him my card before I gave it to him. 

It is also useful to take a cue from the Japanese who see a business card as an extension of the person it represents.

• Always give the card out with your right hand (or with both hands, as the Japanese do) and never with your left.
• Present the card with the writing facing the person you’re giving it to.
• It’s probably not a good idea to whip out your card from your wallet in your back pocket – a business card holder in a front pocket is better way to go.
• A business card holder will also keep your cards in mint condition for when you have to give them out.
•  Remember your business card is a representation of you – make sure it reflects your values and personality.

When receiving a business card, the Japanese mindset is still a good one to keep.

• Accept the card with your right hand (or with both hands). The use of the left hand is insulting in many cultures.
• When you accept a card, never put it away immediately without looking at it with some interest for a few seconds. Better still, make a comment about the card or ask a question about some information on it. It shows you’re paying attention and not dismissing the person who gave you the card. You might also find some information which will be a good subject for discussion.
• Don’t put it in your back pocket and certainly not in front of the person who just gave it to you!
• Do follow up if you say you will. Only ask for cards from people you intend to contact.
• Make sure you transfer the information into your electronic contact management system or Rolodex (does anyone still use those?) – It is bad form to tell someone you need another card because you lost the one they gave you.

Happy networking!